THE ART OF MAKING THINGS THAT DON'T SUCK. DESIGN ISN'T ABOUT MAKING THINGS PRETTY. IT'S ABOUT MAKING THINGS WORK. LET ME TELL YOU WHY MOST PRODUCTS OUT THERE ARE COMPLETE GARBAGE, AND WHAT WE CAN DO ABOUT IT. WE'RE DROWNING IN A SEA OF MEDIOCRITY. EVERY APP LOOKS THE SAME. EVERY WEBSITE FEELS THE SAME. EVERY PRODUCT SCREAMS "ME TOO!" WHILE DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING NEW OR INTERESTING. IT'S LIKE EVERYONE GOT THE SAME MEMO: "MAKE IT FLAT, MAKE IT MINIMAL, MAKE IT BORING AS HELL." HERE'S THE TRUTH: MAKING GOOD PRODUCTS IS HARD. IT'S REALLY FUCKING HARD. BUT THAT'S NOT AN EXCUSE FOR MAKING BAD ONES. EVERY TIME YOU SHIP SOMETHING MEDIOCRE, YOU'RE BASICALLY SAYING "I DON'T RESPECT MY USERS' TIME OR INTELLIGENCE." STOP MAKING SHIT THAT SUCKS. YOUR USERS DESERVE BETTER. YOU DESERVE BETTER. WE ALL DESERVE BETTER. GOOD DESIGN ISN'T ABOUT FOLLOWING TRENDS OR COPYING WHAT'S POPULAR. IT'S ABOUT SOLVING REAL PROBLEMS FOR REAL PEOPLE IN WAYS THAT DON'T MAKE THEM WANT TO THROW THEIR DEVICES OUT THE WINDOW. IF YOU'RE STILL MAKING USERS CLICK "OK" TO CONFIRM THEY'VE READ YOUR ERROR MESSAGES, WE NEED TO HAVE A SERIOUS TALK. KILL YOUR DARLINGS. THAT FANCY ANIMATION? IF IT DOESN'T SERVE A PURPOSE, IT NEEDS TO GO. TEST WITH REAL PEOPLE. YOUR MOM DOESN'T COUNT. QUESTION EVERYTHING. "BECAUSE THAT'S HOW WE'VE ALWAYS DONE IT" IS THE DEATH OF GOOD DESIGN. NOW GO MAKE SOMETHING WORTH USING.EVERY PIXEL MATTERS SO STOP TREATING YOUR INTERFACE LIKE A GARBAGE DUMP FOR YOUR BAD IDEAS. IF YOUR PRODUCT NEEDS A TUTORIAL YOU'VE ALREADY FAILED. NOBODY READS YOUR CLEVER MICROCOPY SO GET TO THE FUCKING POINT. DARK MODE ISN'T A FEATURE IT'S A BASIC HUMAN RIGHT. STOP ASKING USERS TO RATE YOUR APP WHEN THEY'VE ONLY OPENED IT ONCE. YOUR HAMBURGER MENU IS WHERE FEATURES GO TO DIE. IF YOUR FORM VALIDATION MESSAGES ARE LONGER THAN A TWEET YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG. NOBODY WANTS TO JOIN YOUR NEWSLETTER SO STOP ASKING AFTER EVERY SINGLE INTERACTION. YOUR LOADING SPINNER DOESN'T NEED TO BE CLEVER IT NEEDS TO BE FAST. STOP MAKING MODALS THAT COVER OTHER MODALS THAT'S JUST UI INCEPTION AND IT'S STUPID. YOUR FANCY PARALLAX SCROLLING IS MAKING PEOPLE MOTION SICK. IF YOUR ERROR MESSAGE SAYS "OOPS" I WILL FIND YOU AND I WILL JUDGE YOU. STOP PUTTING DARK PATTERNS IN YOUR UI YOU'RE NOT BEING CLEVER YOU'RE BEING AN ASSHOLE. YOUR APP DOESN'T NEED BLOCKCHAIN IT NEEDS BETTER UX. IF YOUR BUTTON DOESN'T LOOK CLICKABLE DON'T BE SURPRISED WHEN NOBODY CLICKS IT. STOP MAKING USERS THINK ABOUT YOUR INFORMATION ARCHITECTURE THAT'S YOUR JOB. YOUR ONBOARDING FLOW SHOULDN'T FEEL LIKE FILLING OUT TAX FORMS. IF YOUR SEARCH BAR CAN'T HANDLE TYPOS IT'S USELESS. STOP HIDING IMPORTANT FEATURES IN SUBMENUS OF SUBMENUS. YOUR PRODUCT ISN'T "MINIMAL" IT'S JUST UNFINISHED. ACCESSIBILITY ISN'T A FEATURE IT'S A REQUIREMENT. IF YOUR PASSWORD REQUIREMENTS LOOK LIKE A NOVEL YOU'RE DOING SECURITY WRONG. STOP MAKING USERS JUMP THROUGH HOOPS TO DELETE THEIR ACCOUNT. YOUR INFINITE SCROLL ISN'T INFINITE IF IT BREAKS AFTER THREE PAGES. STOP USING LOREM IPSUM AND WRITE REAL CONTENT. IF YOUR 404 PAGE IS MORE CREATIVE THAN YOUR ACTUAL PRODUCT YOU NEED TO RETHINK YOUR PRIORITIES. YOUR GRADIENT ISN'T INNOVATIVE IT'S JUST A BOOTLEG COPY OF EVERY OTHER STARTUP WEBSITE. STOP MAKING YOUR FONT SIZE SO SMALL THAT USERS NEED A MICROSCOPE TO READ IT. YOUR CHATBOT ISN'T AI IT'S JUST A FLOWCHART WITH AN ATTITUDE. IF YOUR SITE TAKES MORE THAN 3 SECONDS TO LOAD YOU'VE ALREADY LOST 50% OF YOUR USERS. STOP PUTTING AUTOPLAYING VIDEOS ON YOUR LANDING PAGE THIS ISN'T 2005. YOUR POPUP ASKING FOR COOKIE PREFERENCES DOESN'T NEED TO COVER THE ENTIRE SCREEN. IF YOUR MOBILE MENU NEEDS A TUTORIAL YOU'VE FAILED AT LIFE. STOP MAKING USERS CREATE AN ACCOUNT TO VIEW BASIC INFORMATION. YOUR COLOR SCHEME ISN'T "UNIQUE" IT'S JUST UNREADABLE. NOBODY WANTS TO WATCH YOUR 5-MINUTE PRODUCT DEMO BEFORE USING THE APP. STOP MAKING FORMS THAT CLEAR ALL FIELDS WHEN THERE'S ONE ERROR. YOUR PRICING TABLE SHOULDN'T NEED A DEGREE IN MATHEMATICS TO UNDERSTAND. IF YOUR APP SENDS MORE THAN ONE NOTIFICATION PER DAY YOU'RE A SPAM ARTIST. STOP HIDING THE LOGOUT BUTTON LIKE IT'S THE NUCLEAR LAUNCH CODES. YOUR TERMS AND CONDITIONS PAGE SHOULDN'T READ LIKE WAR AND PEACE. STOP MAKING USERS DOWNLOAD YOUR APP FOR SOMETHING THAT COULD BE A WEBSITE. YOUR CAROUSEL IS KILLING YOUR CONVERSION RATE AND YOUR SOUL. IF YOUR SEARCH RESULTS SAY "NO MATCHES FOUND" WITHOUT SUGGESTIONS YOU'RE LAZY. STOP PUTTING ADS IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR FORM FLOW. YOUR CAPTCHA IS MORE ANNOYING THAN ACTUAL BOTS. IF YOUR ERROR MESSAGES BLAME THE USER YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG. STOP MAKING DROPDOWN MENUS WITH 200 UNSORTED OPTIONS. YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA ICONS DON'T NEED TO FLOAT AND FOLLOW USERS EVERYWHERE. STOP ASKING FOR PHONE NUMBERS WHEN YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO CALL. YOUR PDF DOWNLOAD DOESN'T NEED TO OPEN IN A NEW TAB WITH A POPUP AND THREE CONFIRMATION. IF YOUR INPUT FIELDS DON'T SHOW PASSWORD REQUIREMENTS UNTIL AFTER SUBMISSION YOU'RE A SADIST. STOP MAKING USERS CALCULATE TIMEZONE DIFFERENCES THAT'S WHAT COMPUTERS ARE FOR. YOUR DRAG-AND-DROP INTERFACE ISN'T INTUITIVE IF IT NEEDS A VIDEO TUTORIAL. STOP PUTTING "CLICK HERE" ON YOUR BUTTONS IT'S NOT 1997. YOUR FILTER SYSTEM SHOULDN'T RETURN ZERO RESULTS WITHOUT EXPLANATION. IF YOUR FORM DOESN'T MAINTAIN USER INPUT AFTER A FAILED SUBMISSION YOU HATE PEOPLE. STOP MAKING USERS REPEAT INFORMATION YOU ALREADY HAVE. YOUR PROGRESS BAR SHOULD ACTUALLY SHOW PROGRESS NOT JUST BOUNCE RANDOMLY. IF YOUR APP CRASHES MORE THAN MY DATING LIFE SOMETHING'S SERIOUSLY WRONG. STOP USING FAKE COUNTDOWN TIMERS TO CREATE URGENCY YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE. YOUR STICKY HEADER DOESN'T NEED TO TAKE UP HALF THE SCREEN ON MOBILE. STOP MAKING USERS DO MATH TO UNDERSTAND YOUR PRICING TIERS. IF YOUR SITE BREAKS WHEN JAVASCRIPT IS DISABLED YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM. YOUR FANCY SCROLL ANIMATIONS ARE MAKING PEOPLE SEASICK. STOP PUTTING "POWERED BY" BADGES ON EVERYTHING NOBODY CARES WHAT FRAMEWORK YOU USED. YOUR EMPTY STATES SHOULDN'T BE EMPTY OF USEFUL INFORMATION. IF YOUR FORM VALIDATION ONLY HAPPENS ON SUBMIT YOU HATE YOUR USERS. STOP MAKING PEOPLE CLICK THROUGH SIXTEEN PAGES OF SETTINGS TO CHANGE THEIR EMAIL. YOUR BETA LABEL HAS BEEN THERE FOR THREE YEARS IT'S NOT BETA IT'S JUST BAD. STOP MAKING USERS PROVE THEY'RE HUMAN MORE OFTEN THAN THEY PROVE THEIR PASSWORDS. YOUR SITE SEARCH SHOULDN'T RETURN RESULTS FROM 2012 FIRST. IF YOUR ERROR MESSAGES INCLUDE STACK TRACES YOU'VE GIVEN UP ON LIFE. STOP MAKING MODALS THAT CAN'T BE CLOSED BY CLICKING OUTSIDE OR HITTING ESCAPE. YOUR APP'S SETTINGS SHOULDN'T BE A TREASURE HUNT. IF YOUR PAGINATION SHOWS ALL PAGES AT ONCE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND MATH. STOP USING COMIC SANS IRONICALLY IT'S STILL COMIC SANS. YOUR PRIVACY POLICY UPDATE DOESN'T NEED A FULL-SCREEN TAKEOVER WITH FIREWORKS.YOUR SUBSCRIPTION CANCELLATION FLOW SHOULDN'T BE LONGER THAN YOUR SIGNUP FLOW. STOP MAKING USERS DOWNLOAD AN APP TO VIEW A MENU. IF YOUR SITE HAS A "BEST VIEWED IN" NOTICE YOU'RE LIVING IN THE PAST. YOUR PASSWORD RESET LINK SHOULDN'T EXPIRE FASTER THAN MILK. STOP PUTTING ADS IN YOUR ERROR MESSAGES YOU MONSTER. YOUR CHECKOUT PROCESS SHOULDN'T HAVE MORE STEPS THAN MAKING THANKSGIVING DINNER. IF YOUR SITE DOESN'T WORK ON SAFARI YOU'RE EXCLUDING HALF OF CALIFORNIA. STOP MAKING USERS CONFIRM THEIR AGE FOR NON-ALCOHOLIC PRODUCTS. YOUR 404 PAGE SHOULDN'T BE MORE FUNCTIONAL THAN YOUR HOMEPAGE. IF YOUR SITE ASKS "ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO LEAVE" I'M DEFINITELY SURE NOW. STOP MAKING USERS WRITE NOVELS TO REPORT BUGS. YOUR TERMS OF SERVICE SHOULDN'T REQUIRE A LAW DEGREE TO UNDERSTAND. IF YOUR APP SENDS "WE MISS YOU" EMAILS AFTER ONE DAY YOU'RE CLINGY. STOP MAKING USERS CREATE ACCOUNTS TO LEAVE REVIEWS. YOUR SHOPPING CART SHOULDN'T EMPTY ITSELF AFTER 30 MINUTES. IF YOUR SITE BREAKS WHEN I USE THE BACK BUTTON YOU'VE FAILED AT THE INTERNET. STOP PUTTING "CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE" ON EVERY SINGLE PAGE. YOUR ERROR MESSAGES SHOULDN'T BE MORE ENTERTAINING THAN YOUR ACTUAL CONTENT. IF YOUR SITE FORCES USERS TO HORIZONTAL SCROLL ON DESKTOP YOU SHOULD BE BANNED FROM DESIGNING.YOUR UNSUBSCRIBE BUTTON DOESN'T NEED TO BE IN 2PT GRAY TEXT ON A LIGHT GRAY BACKGROUND. STOP MAKING APPS THAT REQUIRE LOCATION ACCESS TO SHOW A FUCKING CALCULATOR. IF YOUR SITE AUTOPLAYS VIDEO WITH SOUND YOU DESERVE ALL THE BAD REVIEWS. YOUR "MOBILE-FIRST" DESIGN SHOULDN'T LOOK LIKE ASS ON DESKTOP. STOP PUTTING SOCIAL SHARE BUTTONS ON YOUR LOGIN PAGE WHO ARE YOU EXPECTING TO SHARE THAT. YOUR PASSWORD STRENGTH METER SHOULDN'T REJECT SHAKESPEARE QUOTES BUT ACCEPT "PASSWORD123!". IF YOUR SITE FORCES USERS TO LOGIN AGAIN AFTER EVERY PAGE REFRESH YOU'RE A TERRORIST. STOP MAKING USERS FILL OUT THEIR ENTIRE LIFE STORY TO DOWNLOAD A PDF. YOUR "INNOVATIVE" NAVIGATION IS JUST CONFUSING AS HELL. IF YOUR CHECKOUT PROCESS HAS MORE UPSELLS THAN ACTUAL STEPS YOU'RE RUNNING A SCAM NOT A BUSINESS. STOP USING YELLOW TEXT ON WHITE BACKGROUNDS ARE YOU TRYING TO BLIND PEOPLE. YOUR CONTACT FORM DOESN'T NEED TO KNOW MY ANNUAL INCOME AND SHOE SIZE. IF YOUR SITE BREAKS WHEN USERS ZOOM IN YOU HATE ACCESSIBILITY. STOP MAKING EVERY NOTIFICATION "URGENT" AND "IMPORTANT" YOU'RE THE BOY WHO CRIED WOLF OF UX. YOUR MARKETING POP-UP SHOULDN'T APPEAR BEFORE THE PAGE CONTENT EVEN LOADS. STOP MAKING USERS PROVE THEY'RE NOT ROBOTS BY IDENTIFYING TRAFFIC LIGHTS IN MARS PHOTOS. IF YOUR APP REQUIRES THE LATEST OS UPDATE YOU'RE EXCLUDING HALF YOUR USERS. YOUR PREMIUM FEATURES SHOULDN'T ALL BE BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS. STOP PUTTING ADS IN YOUR ERROR MESSAGES THAT'S LIKE KICKING SOMEONE WHEN THEY'RE DOWN. IF YOUR SITE LOADS NEW CONTENT AS I'M TRYING TO CLICK SOMETHING YOU'RE CAUSING VIOLENCE. STOP MAKING EVERY BUTTON ON YOUR SITE A DIFFERENT SIZE AND SHAPE IT'S NOT ABSTRACT ART. YOUR FORGOT PASSWORD FLOW SHOULDN'T BE MORE COMPLEX THAN INTERNATIONAL DIPLOMACY. STOP MAKING USERS WATCH AN AD TO ACCESS THE HELP CENTER. IF YOUR SITE BREAKS WHEN USERS HAVE AN AD BLOCKER YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM. YOUR ERROR MESSAGES SHOULDN'T BE WRITTEN IN CORPORATE LAWYER SPEAK. STOP MAKING USERS DOWNLOAD YOUR APP TO VIEW A SIMPLE DOCUMENT. IF YOUR CHECKOUT PROCESS ADDS ITEMS I DIDN'T ASK FOR YOU'RE RUNNING A DIGITAL PICKPOCKET SCHEME. YOUR SITE SEARCH SHOULDN'T REQUIRE AN EXACT MATCH DOWN TO THE LETTER. STOP MAKING FORMS THAT ASK FOR THE SAME INFORMATION THREE DIFFERENT WAYS. IF YOUR APP SENDS PUSH NOTIFICATIONS ABOUT FEATURES I'VE NEVER USED YOU'RE JUST SPAMMING. YOUR COOKIE CONSENT BANNER SHOULDN'T NEED A COOKIE CONSENT BANNER. STOP MAKING USERS CREATE SEPARATE ACCOUNTS FOR EVERY SUBSIDIARY OF YOUR COMPANY. IF YOUR APP FORCES PORTRAIT MODE FOR NO REASON YOU'RE A CONTROL FREAK. YOUR TERMS OF SERVICE SHOULDN'T UPDATE MORE OFTEN THAN YOUR ACTUAL PRODUCT. STOP PUTTING "SWIPE LEFT TO DELETE" ON ITEMS THAT CAN'T BE UNDELETED. IF YOUR SITE REQUIRES INTERNET EXPLORER YOU'RE LIVING IN A MUSEUM. YOUR CAPTCHA SHOULDN'T BE HARDER THAN A FINAL EXAM. STOP MAKING PHONE NUMBERS CLICKABLE ON DESKTOP THAT'S NOT HOW THIS WORKS. YOUR "SMART" SEARCH SHOULDN'T CORRECT CORRECT WORDS TO INCORRECT ONES. IF YOUR SITE HAS MORE TRACKING SCRIPTS THAN ACTUAL CONTENT YOU'RE A SPY NOT A DEVELOPER. STOP MAKING USERS AGREE TO YOUR PRIVACY POLICY UPDATES EVERY SINGLE DAY. YOUR ERROR MESSAGES SHOULDN'T BE WRITTEN IN HAIKU. IF YOUR SITE FORCES USERS TO DOWNLOAD YOUR SHITTY APP TO VIEW BASIC CONTENT YOU'RE DOING MOBILE WRONG. STOP MAKING PASSWORD REQUIREMENTS THAT EVEN YOUR DEVELOPERS CAN'T REMEMBER. YOUR CHAT SUPPORT BOT SHOULDN'T PRETEND TO BE HUMAN THAT'S JUST CREEPY. STOP PUTTING FAKE REVIEWS ON YOUR PRODUCT PAGES WE CAN ALL TELL THEY'RE FAKE. IF YOUR SITE BREAKS WHEN USERS USE PASSWORD MANAGERS YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM. YOUR PREMIUM PLAN SHOULDN'T COST MORE THAN MY CAR PAYMENT. STOP MAKING USERS CLICK "I AGREE" TO VIEW YOUR MENU. IF YOUR APP SENDS MORE NOTIFICATIONS THAN MY MOTHER YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG. YOUR SITE SHOULDN'T NEED A TUTORIAL TO EXPLAIN HOW TO USE THE TUTORIAL.STOP MAKING USERS DOWNLOAD YOUR APP TO PAY THEIR BILLS. YOUR "SIMPLIFIED" INTERFACE SHOULDN'T REQUIRE A PHD TO UNDERSTAND. IF YOUR SITE LOADS NEW CONTENT WHILE I'M READING YOU'RE A MONSTER. STOP PUTTING ADS IN THE MIDDLE OF SENTENCES WHO RAISED YOU. YOUR CHECKOUT PROCESS SHOULDN'T HAVE MORE PLOT TWISTS THAN A THRILLER MOVIE. IF YOUR APP REQUIRES FACEBOOK LOGIN IN 2025 YOU'RE LIVING IN THE PAST. STOP MAKING USERS VERIFY THEIR EMAIL ADDRESS MULTIPLE TIMES FOR THE SAME ACCOUNT. YOUR "SECURE" PASSWORD REQUIREMENTS SHOULDN'T MAKE USERS WRITE THEIR PASSWORD ON A STICKY NOTE. STOP MAKING USERS WATCH A PRODUCT VIDEO TO GET BASIC SUPPORT. YOUR SITE SHOULDN'T BREAK WHEN USERS USE KEYBOARD NAVIGATION. IF YOUR APP REQUIRES MORE PERMISSIONS THAN THE FBI YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG. STOP MAKING USERS CALCULATE SHIPPING COSTS LIKE IT'S A MATH EXAM. YOUR "QUICK" REGISTRATION SHOULDN'T TAKE LONGER THAN FILING TAXES. IF YOUR SITE FORCES USERS TO USE YOUR CUSTOM VIDEO PLAYER YOU HATE FREEDOM. STOP MAKING FORMS THAT CLEAR ALL DATA WHEN ONE FIELD IS WRONG. YOUR ERROR MESSAGES SHOULDN'T BE MORE CRYPTIC THAN ANCIENT HIEROGLYPHS.
THE ART OF MAKING THINGS THAT DON'T SUCK. DESIGN ISN'T ABOUT MAKING THINGS PRETTY. IT'S ABOUT MAKING THINGS WORK. LET ME TELL YOU WHY MOST PRODUCTS OUT THERE ARE COMPLETE GARBAGE, AND WHAT WE CAN DO ABOUT IT. WE'RE DROWNING IN A SEA OF MEDIOCRITY. EVERY APP LOOKS THE SAME. EVERY WEBSITE FEELS THE SAME. EVERY PRODUCT SCREAMS "ME TOO!" WHILE DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING NEW OR INTERESTING. IT'S LIKE EVERYONE GOT THE SAME MEMO: "MAKE IT FLAT, MAKE IT MINIMAL, MAKE IT BORING AS HELL." HERE'S THE TRUTH: MAKING GOOD PRODUCTS IS HARD. IT'S REALLY FUCKING HARD. BUT THAT'S NOT AN EXCUSE FOR MAKING BAD ONES. EVERY TIME YOU SHIP SOMETHING MEDIOCRE, YOU'RE BASICALLY SAYING "I DON'T RESPECT MY USERS' TIME OR INTELLIGENCE." STOP MAKING SHIT THAT SUCKS. YOUR USERS DESERVE BETTER. YOU DESERVE BETTER. WE ALL DESERVE BETTER. GOOD DESIGN ISN'T ABOUT FOLLOWING TRENDS OR COPYING WHAT'S POPULAR. IT'S ABOUT SOLVING REAL PROBLEMS FOR REAL PEOPLE IN WAYS THAT DON'T MAKE THEM WANT TO THROW THEIR DEVICES OUT THE WINDOW. IF YOU'RE STILL MAKING USERS CLICK "OK" TO CONFIRM THEY'VE READ YOUR ERROR MESSAGES, WE NEED TO HAVE A SERIOUS TALK. KILL YOUR DARLINGS. THAT FANCY ANIMATION? IF IT DOESN'T SERVE A PURPOSE, IT NEEDS TO GO. TEST WITH REAL PEOPLE. YOUR MOM DOESN'T COUNT. QUESTION EVERYTHING. "BECAUSE THAT'S HOW WE'VE ALWAYS DONE IT" IS THE DEATH OF GOOD DESIGN. NOW GO MAKE SOMETHING WORTH USING.EVERY PIXEL MATTERS SO STOP TREATING YOUR INTERFACE LIKE A GARBAGE DUMP FOR YOUR BAD IDEAS. IF YOUR PRODUCT NEEDS A TUTORIAL YOU'VE ALREADY FAILED. NOBODY READS YOUR CLEVER MICROCOPY SO GET TO THE FUCKING POINT. DARK MODE ISN'T A FEATURE IT'S A BASIC HUMAN RIGHT. STOP ASKING USERS TO RATE YOUR APP WHEN THEY'VE ONLY OPENED IT ONCE. YOUR HAMBURGER MENU IS WHERE FEATURES GO TO DIE. IF YOUR FORM VALIDATION MESSAGES ARE LONGER THAN A TWEET YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG. NOBODY WANTS TO JOIN YOUR NEWSLETTER SO STOP ASKING AFTER EVERY SINGLE INTERACTION. YOUR LOADING SPINNER DOESN'T NEED TO BE CLEVER IT NEEDS TO BE FAST. STOP MAKING MODALS THAT COVER OTHER MODALS THAT'S JUST UI INCEPTION AND IT'S STUPID. YOUR FANCY PARALLAX SCROLLING IS MAKING PEOPLE MOTION SICK. IF YOUR ERROR MESSAGE SAYS "OOPS" I WILL FIND YOU AND I WILL JUDGE YOU. STOP PUTTING DARK PATTERNS IN YOUR UI YOU'RE NOT BEING CLEVER YOU'RE BEING AN ASSHOLE. YOUR APP DOESN'T NEED BLOCKCHAIN IT NEEDS BETTER UX. IF YOUR BUTTON DOESN'T LOOK CLICKABLE DON'T BE SURPRISED WHEN NOBODY CLICKS IT. STOP MAKING USERS THINK ABOUT YOUR INFORMATION ARCHITECTURE THAT'S YOUR JOB. YOUR ONBOARDING FLOW SHOULDN'T FEEL LIKE FILLING OUT TAX FORMS. IF YOUR SEARCH BAR CAN'T HANDLE TYPOS IT'S USELESS. STOP HIDING IMPORTANT FEATURES IN SUBMENUS OF SUBMENUS. YOUR PRODUCT ISN'T "MINIMAL" IT'S JUST UNFINISHED. ACCESSIBILITY ISN'T A FEATURE IT'S A REQUIREMENT. IF YOUR PASSWORD REQUIREMENTS LOOK LIKE A NOVEL YOU'RE DOING SECURITY WRONG. STOP MAKING USERS JUMP THROUGH HOOPS TO DELETE THEIR ACCOUNT. YOUR INFINITE SCROLL ISN'T INFINITE IF IT BREAKS AFTER THREE PAGES. STOP USING LOREM IPSUM AND WRITE REAL CONTENT. IF YOUR 404 PAGE IS MORE CREATIVE THAN YOUR ACTUAL PRODUCT YOU NEED TO RETHINK YOUR PRIORITIES. YOUR GRADIENT ISN'T INNOVATIVE IT'S JUST A BOOTLEG COPY OF EVERY OTHER STARTUP WEBSITE. STOP MAKING YOUR FONT SIZE SO SMALL THAT USERS NEED A MICROSCOPE TO READ IT. YOUR CHATBOT ISN'T AI IT'S JUST A FLOWCHART WITH AN ATTITUDE. IF YOUR SITE TAKES MORE THAN 3 SECONDS TO LOAD YOU'VE ALREADY LOST 50% OF YOUR USERS. STOP PUTTING AUTOPLAYING VIDEOS ON YOUR LANDING PAGE THIS ISN'T 2005. YOUR POPUP ASKING FOR COOKIE PREFERENCES DOESN'T NEED TO COVER THE ENTIRE SCREEN. IF YOUR MOBILE MENU NEEDS A TUTORIAL YOU'VE FAILED AT LIFE. STOP MAKING USERS CREATE AN ACCOUNT TO VIEW BASIC INFORMATION. YOUR COLOR SCHEME ISN'T "UNIQUE" IT'S JUST UNREADABLE. NOBODY WANTS TO WATCH YOUR 5-MINUTE PRODUCT DEMO BEFORE USING THE APP. STOP MAKING FORMS THAT CLEAR ALL FIELDS WHEN THERE'S ONE ERROR. YOUR PRICING TABLE SHOULDN'T NEED A DEGREE IN MATHEMATICS TO UNDERSTAND. IF YOUR APP SENDS MORE THAN ONE NOTIFICATION PER DAY YOU'RE A SPAM ARTIST. STOP HIDING THE LOGOUT BUTTON LIKE IT'S THE NUCLEAR LAUNCH CODES. YOUR TERMS AND CONDITIONS PAGE SHOULDN'T READ LIKE WAR AND PEACE. STOP MAKING USERS DOWNLOAD YOUR APP FOR SOMETHING THAT COULD BE A WEBSITE. YOUR CAROUSEL IS KILLING YOUR CONVERSION RATE AND YOUR SOUL. IF YOUR SEARCH RESULTS SAY "NO MATCHES FOUND" WITHOUT SUGGESTIONS YOU'RE LAZY. STOP PUTTING ADS IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR FORM FLOW. YOUR CAPTCHA IS MORE ANNOYING THAN ACTUAL BOTS. IF YOUR ERROR MESSAGES BLAME THE USER YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG. STOP MAKING DROPDOWN MENUS WITH 200 UNSORTED OPTIONS. YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA ICONS DON'T NEED TO FLOAT AND FOLLOW USERS EVERYWHERE. STOP ASKING FOR PHONE NUMBERS WHEN YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO CALL. YOUR PDF DOWNLOAD DOESN'T NEED TO OPEN IN A NEW TAB WITH A POPUP AND THREE CONFIRMATION. IF YOUR INPUT FIELDS DON'T SHOW PASSWORD REQUIREMENTS UNTIL AFTER SUBMISSION YOU'RE A SADIST. STOP MAKING USERS CALCULATE TIMEZONE DIFFERENCES THAT'S WHAT COMPUTERS ARE FOR. YOUR DRAG-AND-DROP INTERFACE ISN'T INTUITIVE IF IT NEEDS A VIDEO TUTORIAL. STOP PUTTING "CLICK HERE" ON YOUR BUTTONS IT'S NOT 1997. YOUR FILTER SYSTEM SHOULDN'T RETURN ZERO RESULTS WITHOUT EXPLANATION. IF YOUR FORM DOESN'T MAINTAIN USER INPUT AFTER A FAILED SUBMISSION YOU HATE PEOPLE. STOP MAKING USERS REPEAT INFORMATION YOU ALREADY HAVE. YOUR PROGRESS BAR SHOULD ACTUALLY SHOW PROGRESS NOT JUST BOUNCE RANDOMLY. IF YOUR APP CRASHES MORE THAN MY DATING LIFE SOMETHING'S SERIOUSLY WRONG. STOP USING FAKE COUNTDOWN TIMERS TO CREATE URGENCY YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE. YOUR STICKY HEADER DOESN'T NEED TO TAKE UP HALF THE SCREEN ON MOBILE. STOP MAKING USERS DO MATH TO UNDERSTAND YOUR PRICING TIERS. IF YOUR SITE BREAKS WHEN JAVASCRIPT IS DISABLED YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM. YOUR FANCY SCROLL ANIMATIONS ARE MAKING PEOPLE SEASICK. STOP PUTTING "POWERED BY" BADGES ON EVERYTHING NOBODY CARES WHAT FRAMEWORK YOU USED. YOUR EMPTY STATES SHOULDN'T BE EMPTY OF USEFUL INFORMATION. IF YOUR FORM VALIDATION ONLY HAPPENS ON SUBMIT YOU HATE YOUR USERS. STOP MAKING PEOPLE CLICK THROUGH SIXTEEN PAGES OF SETTINGS TO CHANGE THEIR EMAIL. YOUR BETA LABEL HAS BEEN THERE FOR THREE YEARS IT'S NOT BETA IT'S JUST BAD. STOP MAKING USERS PROVE THEY'RE HUMAN MORE OFTEN THAN THEY PROVE THEIR PASSWORDS. YOUR SITE SEARCH SHOULDN'T RETURN RESULTS FROM 2012 FIRST. IF YOUR ERROR MESSAGES INCLUDE STACK TRACES YOU'VE GIVEN UP ON LIFE. STOP MAKING MODALS THAT CAN'T BE CLOSED BY CLICKING OUTSIDE OR HITTING ESCAPE. YOUR APP'S SETTINGS SHOULDN'T BE A TREASURE HUNT. IF YOUR PAGINATION SHOWS ALL PAGES AT ONCE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND MATH. STOP USING COMIC SANS IRONICALLY IT'S STILL COMIC SANS. YOUR PRIVACY POLICY UPDATE DOESN'T NEED A FULL-SCREEN TAKEOVER WITH FIREWORKS.YOUR SUBSCRIPTION CANCELLATION FLOW SHOULDN'T BE LONGER THAN YOUR SIGNUP FLOW. STOP MAKING USERS DOWNLOAD AN APP TO VIEW A MENU. IF YOUR SITE HAS A "BEST VIEWED IN" NOTICE YOU'RE LIVING IN THE PAST. YOUR PASSWORD RESET LINK SHOULDN'T EXPIRE FASTER THAN MILK. STOP PUTTING ADS IN YOUR ERROR MESSAGES YOU MONSTER. YOUR CHECKOUT PROCESS SHOULDN'T HAVE MORE STEPS THAN MAKING THANKSGIVING DINNER. IF YOUR SITE DOESN'T WORK ON SAFARI YOU'RE EXCLUDING HALF OF CALIFORNIA. STOP MAKING USERS CONFIRM THEIR AGE FOR NON-ALCOHOLIC PRODUCTS. YOUR 404 PAGE SHOULDN'T BE MORE FUNCTIONAL THAN YOUR HOMEPAGE. IF YOUR SITE ASKS "ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO LEAVE" I'M DEFINITELY SURE NOW. STOP MAKING USERS WRITE NOVELS TO REPORT BUGS. YOUR TERMS OF SERVICE SHOULDN'T REQUIRE A LAW DEGREE TO UNDERSTAND. IF YOUR APP SENDS "WE MISS YOU" EMAILS AFTER ONE DAY YOU'RE CLINGY. STOP MAKING USERS CREATE ACCOUNTS TO LEAVE REVIEWS. YOUR SHOPPING CART SHOULDN'T EMPTY ITSELF AFTER 30 MINUTES. IF YOUR SITE BREAKS WHEN I USE THE BACK BUTTON YOU'VE FAILED AT THE INTERNET. STOP PUTTING "CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE" ON EVERY SINGLE PAGE. YOUR ERROR MESSAGES SHOULDN'T BE MORE ENTERTAINING THAN YOUR ACTUAL CONTENT. IF YOUR SITE FORCES USERS TO HORIZONTAL SCROLL ON DESKTOP YOU SHOULD BE BANNED FROM DESIGNING.YOUR UNSUBSCRIBE BUTTON DOESN'T NEED TO BE IN 2PT GRAY TEXT ON A LIGHT GRAY BACKGROUND. STOP MAKING APPS THAT REQUIRE LOCATION ACCESS TO SHOW A FUCKING CALCULATOR. IF YOUR SITE AUTOPLAYS VIDEO WITH SOUND YOU DESERVE ALL THE BAD REVIEWS. YOUR "MOBILE-FIRST" DESIGN SHOULDN'T LOOK LIKE ASS ON DESKTOP. STOP PUTTING SOCIAL SHARE BUTTONS ON YOUR LOGIN PAGE WHO ARE YOU EXPECTING TO SHARE THAT. YOUR PASSWORD STRENGTH METER SHOULDN'T REJECT SHAKESPEARE QUOTES BUT ACCEPT "PASSWORD123!". IF YOUR SITE FORCES USERS TO LOGIN AGAIN AFTER EVERY PAGE REFRESH YOU'RE A TERRORIST. STOP MAKING USERS FILL OUT THEIR ENTIRE LIFE STORY TO DOWNLOAD A PDF. YOUR "INNOVATIVE" NAVIGATION IS JUST CONFUSING AS HELL. IF YOUR CHECKOUT PROCESS HAS MORE UPSELLS THAN ACTUAL STEPS YOU'RE RUNNING A SCAM NOT A BUSINESS. STOP USING YELLOW TEXT ON WHITE BACKGROUNDS ARE YOU TRYING TO BLIND PEOPLE. YOUR CONTACT FORM DOESN'T NEED TO KNOW MY ANNUAL INCOME AND SHOE SIZE. IF YOUR SITE BREAKS WHEN USERS ZOOM IN YOU HATE ACCESSIBILITY. STOP MAKING EVERY NOTIFICATION "URGENT" AND "IMPORTANT" YOU'RE THE BOY WHO CRIED WOLF OF UX. YOUR MARKETING POP-UP SHOULDN'T APPEAR BEFORE THE PAGE CONTENT EVEN LOADS. STOP MAKING USERS PROVE THEY'RE NOT ROBOTS BY IDENTIFYING TRAFFIC LIGHTS IN MARS PHOTOS. IF YOUR APP REQUIRES THE LATEST OS UPDATE YOU'RE EXCLUDING HALF YOUR USERS. YOUR PREMIUM FEATURES SHOULDN'T ALL BE BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS. STOP PUTTING ADS IN YOUR ERROR MESSAGES THAT'S LIKE KICKING SOMEONE WHEN THEY'RE DOWN. IF YOUR SITE LOADS NEW CONTENT AS I'M TRYING TO CLICK SOMETHING YOU'RE CAUSING VIOLENCE. STOP MAKING EVERY BUTTON ON YOUR SITE A DIFFERENT SIZE AND SHAPE IT'S NOT ABSTRACT ART. YOUR FORGOT PASSWORD FLOW SHOULDN'T BE MORE COMPLEX THAN INTERNATIONAL DIPLOMACY. STOP MAKING USERS WATCH AN AD TO ACCESS THE HELP CENTER. IF YOUR SITE BREAKS WHEN USERS HAVE AN AD BLOCKER YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM. YOUR ERROR MESSAGES SHOULDN'T BE WRITTEN IN CORPORATE LAWYER SPEAK. STOP MAKING USERS DOWNLOAD YOUR APP TO VIEW A SIMPLE DOCUMENT. IF YOUR CHECKOUT PROCESS ADDS ITEMS I DIDN'T ASK FOR YOU'RE RUNNING A DIGITAL PICKPOCKET SCHEME. YOUR SITE SEARCH SHOULDN'T REQUIRE AN EXACT MATCH DOWN TO THE LETTER. STOP MAKING FORMS THAT ASK FOR THE SAME INFORMATION THREE DIFFERENT WAYS. IF YOUR APP SENDS PUSH NOTIFICATIONS ABOUT FEATURES I'VE NEVER USED YOU'RE JUST SPAMMING. YOUR COOKIE CONSENT BANNER SHOULDN'T NEED A COOKIE CONSENT BANNER. STOP MAKING USERS CREATE SEPARATE ACCOUNTS FOR EVERY SUBSIDIARY OF YOUR COMPANY. IF YOUR APP FORCES PORTRAIT MODE FOR NO REASON YOU'RE A CONTROL FREAK. YOUR TERMS OF SERVICE SHOULDN'T UPDATE MORE OFTEN THAN YOUR ACTUAL PRODUCT. STOP PUTTING "SWIPE LEFT TO DELETE" ON ITEMS THAT CAN'T BE UNDELETED. IF YOUR SITE REQUIRES INTERNET EXPLORER YOU'RE LIVING IN A MUSEUM. YOUR CAPTCHA SHOULDN'T BE HARDER THAN A FINAL EXAM. STOP MAKING PHONE NUMBERS CLICKABLE ON DESKTOP THAT'S NOT HOW THIS WORKS. YOUR "SMART" SEARCH SHOULDN'T CORRECT CORRECT WORDS TO INCORRECT ONES. IF YOUR SITE HAS MORE TRACKING SCRIPTS THAN ACTUAL CONTENT YOU'RE A SPY NOT A DEVELOPER. STOP MAKING USERS AGREE TO YOUR PRIVACY POLICY UPDATES EVERY SINGLE DAY. YOUR ERROR MESSAGES SHOULDN'T BE WRITTEN IN HAIKU. IF YOUR SITE FORCES USERS TO DOWNLOAD YOUR SHITTY APP TO VIEW BASIC CONTENT YOU'RE DOING MOBILE WRONG. STOP MAKING PASSWORD REQUIREMENTS THAT EVEN YOUR DEVELOPERS CAN'T REMEMBER. YOUR CHAT SUPPORT BOT SHOULDN'T PRETEND TO BE HUMAN THAT'S JUST CREEPY. STOP PUTTING FAKE REVIEWS ON YOUR PRODUCT PAGES WE CAN ALL TELL THEY'RE FAKE. IF YOUR SITE BREAKS WHEN USERS USE PASSWORD MANAGERS YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM. YOUR PREMIUM PLAN SHOULDN'T COST MORE THAN MY CAR PAYMENT. STOP MAKING USERS CLICK "I AGREE" TO VIEW YOUR MENU. IF YOUR APP SENDS MORE NOTIFICATIONS THAN MY MOTHER YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG. YOUR SITE SHOULDN'T NEED A TUTORIAL TO EXPLAIN HOW TO USE THE TUTORIAL.STOP MAKING USERS DOWNLOAD YOUR APP TO PAY THEIR BILLS. YOUR "SIMPLIFIED" INTERFACE SHOULDN'T REQUIRE A PHD TO UNDERSTAND. IF YOUR SITE LOADS NEW CONTENT WHILE I'M READING YOU'RE A MONSTER. STOP PUTTING ADS IN THE MIDDLE OF SENTENCES WHO RAISED YOU. YOUR CHECKOUT PROCESS SHOULDN'T HAVE MORE PLOT TWISTS THAN A THRILLER MOVIE. IF YOUR APP REQUIRES FACEBOOK LOGIN IN 2025 YOU'RE LIVING IN THE PAST. STOP MAKING USERS VERIFY THEIR EMAIL ADDRESS MULTIPLE TIMES FOR THE SAME ACCOUNT. YOUR "SECURE" PASSWORD REQUIREMENTS SHOULDN'T MAKE USERS WRITE THEIR PASSWORD ON A STICKY NOTE. STOP MAKING USERS WATCH A PRODUCT VIDEO TO GET BASIC SUPPORT. YOUR SITE SHOULDN'T BREAK WHEN USERS USE KEYBOARD NAVIGATION. IF YOUR APP REQUIRES MORE PERMISSIONS THAN THE FBI YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG. STOP MAKING USERS CALCULATE SHIPPING COSTS LIKE IT'S A MATH EXAM. YOUR "QUICK" REGISTRATION SHOULDN'T TAKE LONGER THAN FILING TAXES. IF YOUR SITE FORCES USERS TO USE YOUR CUSTOM VIDEO PLAYER YOU HATE FREEDOM. STOP MAKING FORMS THAT CLEAR ALL DATA WHEN ONE FIELD IS WRONG. YOUR ERROR MESSAGES SHOULDN'T BE MORE CRYPTIC THAN ANCIENT HIEROGLYPHS.